Spicy (and light) Tuna Salad!

It has been entirely too long since I've shared a recipe that makes my tummy happy, both on the inside AND the outside, so here we go! I don't know about you, but I love tuna salad. I really do. But if you don't get it from the right place, the caloric and fat content can be SCARY! Seriously. Look at Subway's nutritional information. A 6-inch tuna sub will set you back 480 calories!!!! 480! You don't wanna know how many grams of fat it has..but I'll tell you anyway. 25!!!! 25 freaking grams of fat for a 6 inch tuna sub!!! So are you ready for a recipe for tuna salad that is creamy, spicy and far better for you! If not, I believe you are on the wrong website.

This recipe has a BONUS RECIPE! 

How To Make the Perfect Boiled Egg!
So here we go. If you're like me, (and if you are, I'm sorry) you have had troubles with boiled eggs. They come out TOO done or just not done enough and it is frustrating! Here is how to do it right, and credit for this goes to How to Boil a Perfect Egg 

1.Put the desired amount of eggs in a pot
2.Fill with enough cold water to cover them
3.Bring the water to a rolling boil.
4.Cover the pot and turn off the heat. If you are using an electric stove, remove the pot from the heat.
5.Set a timer. 

• For slightly runny soft-boiled eggs: 4 minutes

• For custardy yet firmer soft-boiled eggs: 6 minutes

• For firm yet still creamy hard-boiled eggs: 10 minutes

Here is a photo of what my egg looked like:

While the egg is boiling, you should be mixing up everything else. Here is what you need to do:

1. Open your tuna and drain it well. I personally use Wild Caught Chunk Light Tuna in Water **SIDE NOTE** Oh my gosh I have REALLY made myself mad twice. I accidentally grabbed tuna that is in freaking OIL instead of water. I couldn't eat it. I couldn't. Not only does the oil add unnecessary fat and calories..it's just..gross. To me anyway, maybe you like it. But for the purposes of this recipe, grab a can that is in water. Mine is Great Value brand and was like..50 cents or something. 

2. Miracle Whip with Olive Oil: add two dollops It equals to be about two servings. I personally LOVE Miracle Whip because it adds a sweet tang. If you really just don't like it, you could use light or fat free mayo. 

3. Daisy Light Sour Cream:I only use Daisy brand sour cream because it really is JUST cream. It tastes amazing as well

4. Horseraddish Sauce: there are lots of good brands and I honestly cannot pick just one. Add a very small squirt, more if you want it to be spicier

5. Claussen spicy pickles: holy cow! Seriously. These are some very tasty pickles. But they do pack a good kick, so if you cannot handle spicy foods, just use sweet pickles instead. I used about 4 good size slices and chopped 'em up.

6. Yellow Mustard: add a medium sized squirt

7. A dash of black pepper

8. One chopped boiled egg: I personally prefer bigger chunks of egg, but of course that is up to you. 

Stir everything up in a bowl and enjoy! Now here is the good news! For the entire bowl of tuna salad, which is either 2 big servings or 3 smaller servings, you will get 320 calories and 13 grams of fat. So even if you eat the entire bowl, you are taking in much less of the bad stuff than if you ate the Subway tuna salad. So get your butt in the kitchen and get cooking!

Blackberry-Jalapeno Salsa

This is some pretty sweet salsa with a KICK! Dare to try something new, fresh and healthy. My blackberry-jalapeno salsa will make you rethink the potential of a handful of berries!

For a small batch that serves about two people, you will need:

1/4 cup jalapenos, chopped (about 2 medium peppers)
1/3 cup blackberries, chopped
1 1/2 cups tomatoes, chopped (about two medium tomatoes)
1/4 cup finely chopped onions
3 tsp sugar
1 tsp sea salt
2 tsp coarse black pepper
1/2 tsp cumin

1. Chop the blackberries and mix them well with the sugar in a pot. 
2. While the berries and sugar set, chop the remaining veggies and add them to the pot.
3. Stir in the seasonings well and put the pot on the stovetop on high heat.
4. Bring to a boil for only a minute or two, stirring the whole time.
5. Turn the heat to low and give it another few minutes, no more than about 5. Stir well.
6. After it has cooled enough, put it into an airtight container and into the fridge to set for a few hours.
(I did try my salsa after it cooled, then tried it again after it was allowed to set overnight. It tasted better after setting and letting the different flavors meld together)
7. ENJOY!


**If you don't want it as spicy, you can substitute another pepper for one of the jalapenos, or be sure to remove the seeds from the jalapenos to remove some of the heat**

CEVICHE!!

This amazing dish is called ceviche. It is super tasty and pretty darn healthy to boot. It does take a whole day to get done, so be ready for that. Alright let's go!

You need;
Fish. For this dish you will not be cooking the fish so it needs to be something that is safe to eat raw. I used tilapia for mine and it came out absolutely perfect. 
Tomato-the amount will depend on how much fish you are preparing. You want to have about 1/2 cup of tomatoes for every cup of fish.
Onion-see the note about the tomato
Salt
Limes-I made three tilapia filets and used about 8 or so limes. You could cheat and buy lime juice, but fresh is always better
Sea salt
oregano
red pepper

Here's what you do:
1. Chop the tilapia into bite size pieces. 
2. Chop up your veggies 
3. Put it all into an airtight container. Be sure not to use anything that is metal.
4. Squeeze the hell out of those limes. GET ANGRY! You need the fish to be entirely covered in lime juice
5. Sprinkle lightly with the salt, oregano and red pepper.
6. Stir it up, cover it and pop it in the fridge.

You do need to let it set overnight. I read some recipes that said you could give it "a few hours" but you don't want to do that. Stir it up every couple hours.

When it's time to eat there are many, many ways you can serve it. I personally warmed a few tortillas in a skillet then topped them with ceviche, freshly chopped cilantro and hot sauce. I've read that avocado goes well with it as well, but I sadly didn't have any avocados handy. It would be good on a tostada, with chips, etc.

Berry Orgasmic Shortcake!

This is a super quick, easy to make dessert or snack. And let me tell you...it is absolutely AMAZING! Here's what you need:

Pre-made shortcakes (I got a pack of little ones at Wal-Mart for a couple bucks)
Peanut butter
Nutella
Chocolate syrup
Whipped cream
BERRIES! (I used blackberries and strawberries because it's all I could find that were any good, but you could certainly throw raspberries in there)

And here we go!

1. Slice the strawberries up so that they are similar to flower petals.
2. Cut the blackberries in half.
3. Put a generous amount of peanut butter in the center of the shortcake.
4. Line the outside with nutella.
5. Arrange your berries on the shortcake.
6. Line the outside with whipped cream and leftover berries.
7.Top it all off with a light drizzle of chocolate syrup.

EAT IT!

Apricot-ginger pork tenderloin

 this is the BEST pork roast that I have ever made and/or eaten! SERIOUSLY! You will never be able to go back to another recipe again, just to forewarn you. The sweetness...oh the sweetness! Alright let's get started! This bad boy needs to set in the fridge for a few hours with a dry rub, so be sure to start it early.

For the dry rub!
 1/4 cup sugar
2 tsp chili powder
2 tsp garlic salt
1 tsp onion powder
1 tsp black pepper
1/4 cup fresh chopped cilantro

Mix the rub ingredients together in a bowl. Put your pork tenderloin into a roasting pot and coat each side lightly with olive oil. Apply this dry rub all over it. Get your hands dirty! If your hands aren't gross you haven't done a good job. Cover the pot and stick it in the fridge for a couple hours, or even overnight if you prefer.

Once you're ready to cook it, preheat your oven to 400°. Now we need to make our glaze! Into a saucepan put:

1 cup apricot preserves (I personally like the Simply Fruit from Smuckers.)
1/2 cup bbq sauce
1/8 cup chopped cilantro
**you need ginger. I get the fresh ginger in a tube because it keeps longer and is easy to use, and with that I use 2 tsp. If you have fresh ginger I believe the measurement is the same but you may want to add a little more

You will also need to have some brown sugar and a little more chopped cilantro handy.

Turn the saucepan to medium heat and leave on just long enough to melt the preserves and get everything mixed together. Pour about half the glaze over the roast, some water in the bottom of the pan to prevent drying, cover it and pop it in the oven.

After about 25 minutes or so, take the roast out and uncover it. Rub down the top of it with some brown sugar and pop it back in the oven until it's done. Minimum cooking temperature for pork is 145° so please have a meat thermometer ready. Undercooked meat is no laughing matter.

When it's about time to serve it up, put the remainder of the glaze over low heat. After the roast is done and has cooled a bit, cut it into slices and pour the glaze over it and sprinkle and remaining cilantro. And now you eat! I like to serve this dish up with my apple-carrot cole slaw and some couscous, but you can do it with rice and salad, or hell just go carnivore and eat the whole roast!

Now I need to give credit where it is due. I got the inspiration for this dish from all recipes, although I simplified and modified it to my liking.

Apple-Carrot Cole Slaw

This stuff is SUPER yummy! But here is a disclaimer-the measurements are approximate. I periodically tasted it to see what it could use more of.

Another little note-this tasted the best if you prepare it about 30 minutes before you plan to serve it. If you let it set in the refrigerator the flavors come together a bit better, although I have made and served it immediately and it was still good.

You will need:
1 cup Miracle Whip
1/2 cup sour cream
2 tsp apple cider vinegar
1/3 cup sugar
a squeeze of lime juice
1 apple (cored and chopped into bite size pieces)
1/2 bag of tri-color slaw mix
1/3 cup shredded carrots
sea salt

1. Pour the slaw mix into a strainer and lightly sprinkle it with sea salt. Toss it around and let it sit there
2. Mix all your sauce ingredients (everything but the apple, carrots and slaw) into a large bowl. 
3. Add the slaw mix, apples and carrots. I like to do just a handful at a time, stir it until thoroughly coated with the sauce, then repeat with the next handful. It makes it easier to get everything good and covered.
4. TASTE IT! No but seriously, taste test a bite to make sure it's to your liking.
5. Cover the bowl and pop it in the fridge for about 30 minutes.

Mouth-watering Meatloaf

Here is what you need my children: 


1 Andouille Sausage, finely chopped (it's a smoked sausage. you could use something spicy if you're not serving kids as well, or perhaps a different variety of smoked sausage)
1 pound lean ground beef
1 egg
1 cup plain bread crumbs (yeah, I used pre-made bread crumbs from a canister. wanna fight about it?)
1 medium tomato, finely chopped
1 tsp minced garlic
2 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1/2 cup of your favorite bbq sauce
1 tsp onion powder

1. Preheat your oven to 375°
2. Mix everything up in a bowl. Don't be scared to stick your hands in it. What are you? Some kinda punk? HELL NO! Stick your hands in and show that food who's boss!
3. Grease up your bread pan
4. Pour your mixture in the pan and cover with tin foil. Give it 45 minutes in the oven
5. Take it out, remove the tin foil and crank it up a notch. To 400° to be exact.
6. Pop the meatloaf back in (uncovered damnit!) and give it another 20 minutes.
7. Just like with the bangin' banana bread, you have to give this a while. Let it cool. Let it settle. I know it smells great and you're hungry. But patience brings great things, young grasshopper.
8. EAT IT! I personally served mine with corn on the cob and mashed potatoes, but you can do things the wrong way if you want.

OH! LEFTOVERS! IF you happen to have any meatloaf leftover, slice it up and put it on a sandwich the next day. You'll thank me later.